Letter to my housing association...advice needed please?

I am writing to my housing association to ask for a transfer from a two bed, 2nd floor flat (in their 1st set of new builds) to a house (in their 2nd set of new builds). They do not usually do transfers but have just finished another set of newly build houses.





This is my Letter:







I am currently a tenant of LHA and I live at the above address. When I first applied for a place via UChooseHomes I had the same problem that I am currently having with applying for a spare room to be used as respite for one of the three family members that I am the carer for but thankfully was placed into my current, two bedrooms flat on the second floor. My circumstances have recently changed as I am now expecting my first child. As soon as I found out I reapplied via the council for an extra room but I have been put in Band 4 with a two bedroom requirement.



I have recently become aware that LHA ASRA group is currently building houses in St Marys Road and if possible I would like a transfer to a three bedroom house there. I have currently bided on a two bedroom house on this road using UChooseHomes as I am unable to bid on three bedroom properties.



My needs for three bedrooms are listed below:

One for me and my partner

One for Jamie (due 02/10/2010)

One for the individuals to use while I am caring for them (for overnight stays and respite periods). I have a copy of the letter, from Bedworth CMHT regarding my need for the extra room, which I provided to the council in the summer of 2009.

In addition to needing three bedrooms I also need for ground floor or house because the persons I care for have anxiety related problems and the entrance to my current residence causes problems due to having to walk past peoples window, front doors and occasionally people in the corridors. Added to this is the fact that I am nervous about being on the second floor with a young child do to potential risk of falls and such like.



I am happy living in Bedworth but living in Nuneaton will mean I am nearer to Jodrell Court and therefore can recommence caring for my older brother who lives there. I am also the carer for my mother who lives in Bedworth although she receives direct payments and my main carer role is to care for my younger brother who is autistic and is in full time education in Nuneaton. My partners mother live in the facility of Nuneaton and she will be providing child care while I fulfil my caring role.





Yours sincerely,





DO you thing it is ok? What changes should I make? etc?
It is too wordy. Edit the first paragraph to omit at least the second sentence. You can probably shorten the last paragraph. They don